Becks bating

Where to now, Becks? With Becks’ bum having an intimate relationship with the Real Madrid bench, rumours circulated this week that the former England captain is packing his bags in readiness for a move. But where to, Becks? Inter Milan, Tottenham and Israeli side Maccabi Netanya have all expressed an interest, as have Celtic. But Celtic’s manager, Wee Gordon Strachan, has been quick to suggest that Celtic might not be the Beckham’s final destination.

“I can see the scenario now,” said Strachan.

“Victoria, myself and Lesley [Mrs Wee Gordon] sitting in the Tunnock’s cafe in Uddingston.I know the rhubarb tarts are great but I don’t know if it’s enough to bring Becks and Victoria up here.” Strachan has a point.

As the Rebecca Loos incident proved, Posh Spice does not like tarts. Or not as much as David, at least.

Come and have a go if you think you’re hard enough Sticking with Scotland, if we must, Terrace Talk was strangely impressed by a linesman – sorry, assistant referee – this week.

But why so, you may ask.

Did he call a supertight offside decision correctly? Was he quick to rule that a ball had completely crossed the goal-line? Oh, no, much better than that – he picked a fi ght with a fan who was questioning his decisions.

Offi ciating at the Hearts v Dunfermline game, Willie Dishington turned to oneparticularly vocal fan and said: “If you want a go big man, come on down.”

And what did those brave, noble Scottish fans do? They reported him to the police and the Scottish FA.

If the Scottish FA are looking for an apt punishment, they might consider shipping Dishington off to Germany where over 70 matches have been postponed because of escalating violence in the country’s lower leagues.

In the last few weeks several referees have been beaten up, including one, bizarrely, who was stabbed by his own assistant with a corner fl ag.

Mr Dishington will feel right at home.

Don’t call him Cashley Some-time pop princess and current Mrs Ca$hley Cole Cheryl Tweedy has had a bit of a hissy fi t this week, and all because the big bullies in the media call her hubby greedy.

It seems, according to Mrs Ca$hley at least, that behind that self-obsessed, greedy exterior lies a man who is cuddlier than a fluffy bunny.


“I wish they’d stop calling me greedy,” she harrumphed, showing that by trying to defend her husband but actually talking about herself that she shares the same qualities that have made Ca$hley such a well-loved football fi gure the world over.

“They don’t even know me or Ca$hley. He is the kindest, softest, loveliest person,” she continued.

“People call me names all the time – but it hurts more when I hear Ca$hley being called them. It’s so far from the person he is.He even gets offended if I try topay the bill when we’re at a restaurant.”

So, there you have it.

Proof, as if it were needed, that the multi-millionaire, £75,000-a-week player is really a decent fella … he’s willing to pay his wife’s half of the bill when they go out for makan. You are, indeed, a real gent, Ca$hley. We salute you.

And finally … And fi nally, spare a thought for Rory Delap who is recovering from a horror leg-break.

The on-loan Stoke midfi elder shattered both the tibia and fi bula in a tackle with Sunderland defender Robbie Elliot a couple of weeks ago.

“Our physio,” said Delap, “has contacted Liverpool to see how they dealt with Djibril Cisse when he broke his leg.”

“We shipped him off to Marseille sharpish,” we’re presuming was the reply.

–By Surdid Simon Burgess

The Malay Mail,  27 November, 2006


~ by anick on November 27, 2006.

One Response to “Becks bating”

  1. Nice site!

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